Something New

Sometimes when things get hard and you get consumed by the 'Knee Monster'  when the only thing that goes on in you head, it is that everything about the knee gets you down thinking physically of the things you can't do anymore and how it effects the future you had planned for yourself. How it makes people change around you.

But I'm Learning,  I say learning because I still have bad days when I'm completly alone that i step backwards.

But I'm Learning that everyday I can do something new or something better than the time before,  is something to look at a celebrate the little sucesses and say to myself next time I can do better... so that I can encourage myself.


So today my new thing is that I walked up the stairs one foot to one stair, like a normal person =D

Another day

So its another day.
Well except I had counselling and yet again my afternoon with my BF is ruined.
After the emotional strain on how things make me feel, all I wanted was a nice peaceful evening and dinner with the BF.
But as I was walking to the BF's(yup I was walking with the assistance of my wheelchair) as were walking he gets a phone call from his mate who is coming down now. So I get no time to talk or cuddle instead I have to rain it in a pretend that everything is fine.
It's not like I want to feel loved and wanted, to be close to him instead I'm ignored left to one side and feeling unwanted and unloved again.
I just hate feeling like I wanna cry again, why can't things be simple and easy .

Or even to be asked instead of assuming.
Right now I just want to go home :'(

Learning

I've spent the last week learning, How to walk, how to pace myself and how not to let other people's small minded people make me feel any less of a person.

Great things have happened since my last post... major being stayed over the first night with the BF, was a tad scary but was so nice not having to watch the time.
i also walked to pick the BF up from work another first since my accident by useing my wheelchair to carry everything and me pushing it for stability :D
I know have the date for my first counselling meeting... eeek
I have also signed up to a forum kneeguru to see if I can find much about how other's with my type of injury cope and how they have got on with there life since there accident... however it's a not looking posotive, mainly because not many people have pcl, the majority of people have ACL injuries, which means this is going to be harder than I thought :S
But I'm learning to cope and getting on day by day
2 weeks till the next hospital vist just hope I've been doing well :D